Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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