So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
