Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
