She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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