just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
