there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
