you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
