we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
