My first STD was from a foam party
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
