nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
