physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Fuck appropriateness.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
