i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
