yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
