Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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