we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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