I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
