Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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