There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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