I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize