Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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