some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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