I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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