Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
