Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
