it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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