I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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