woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
