The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
