I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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