I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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