Will you blow on my dice?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
