I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Randomize
