I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
