if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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