census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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