Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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