Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
