hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
