do herpes really smell.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
