I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
