Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
