i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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