So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
