in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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