I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
