benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
worst night to have a conscience
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
