3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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