i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
NoShamevember. You game?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
