Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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