Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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