I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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