I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
