All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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