I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
In America we eat man semen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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