Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
