just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize