I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
