god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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