Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
