I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
