Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
